Archive for the ‘Funny/Humor’ Category

30 Little Known Facts about America (Originally posted January 17th, 2009)

Monday, November 22nd, 2010 by Greg

When I first saw these videos I laughed out loud! (Originally posted January 12th, 2009)

Monday, November 22nd, 2010 by Greg

When I first saw these videos I laughed out loud! I type “lol” but technically I don’t do it much, but I did when I watched these videos! These are great! They mock recent news in an enlightening anbd amusing way! And these times, it’s greatly needed!

Hope and Change, Fulfilled

The Chronicles Of The Obamessiah, Volume I: The Adulteress

The Chronicles Of The Obamessiah, Volume II: In The Temple

The Chronicles Of The Obamessiah Vol. III: Walking On Water

Barack Obama: “Friends”

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Redux

Cuckoo’s Nest II: The Housing Crisis Denial Sessions

New Blagojevich Ad

Rod Blagojevich Stars In “Lord Of The Bangs”

The Big Bang Test In Europe-How Stupid Can Man Get! (Originally posted January 6, 2009)

Sunday, November 14th, 2010 by Greg

Big Bang Test in Europe. More scary stuff/science/technology man is experimenting with right now! I first heard about this a few months ago!
They’re basically trying to find manmade answers and try to recreate the supposed “Big Bang” theory on a smaller but harmful scale!

Man is so crazy these days, messing with God’s creation! It’s pretty scary! It’s like their going to blow up the earth and all it’s inhabitants, of course God is too loving and won’t allow it! He will stop man kind like He did at the Tower of Babel.

Apparently man is missing something huge and vital today, a part misissing, a void, their relationship with God through Jesus Christ! Many ways we see this today by atheists agendas, gay agendas, and scientistics who may blow up the earth, to try to recreate the Big Bang Theory! Christians are blessed to truly know God, we’re not looking for answers, we found the answer! Lets get the word out before it’s too late! We have the peace that passes all understanding the world longs for but is looking in all the wrong places! Goddoes desire a relationaship with His creation, man, not to destroy itself!

Triumph! Smooth start for ‘Big Bang’ test

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/triumph-smooth-start-for-big-bang-test-924755.html


Big Bang Test Set to Re-start

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2096446.ece


Will the Big Bang test end the world on Wednesday?

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Will_the_Big_Bang_test_end_the_world_today/articleshow/3465831.cms


Legal bid to stop Big Bang test that may end the world

http://newsworldwide.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/legal-bid-to-stop-big-bang-test-that-may-end-the-world/


Legal bid to stop Big Bang test that may end the world

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,24274368-5013016,00.html


Fears test will make Earth go out with a Big Bang

http://www.canberratimes.com.au/news/local/news/general/fears-test-will-make-earth-go-out-with-a-big-bang/1267982.aspx


How the big Bang Theory works

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/big-bang-6.jpg&imgrefurl=http://science.howstuffworks.com/big-bang-theory.htm/printable&usg=__PwzC1M8uL2uk0T6NG2bVUcu0Kcs=&h=267&w=400&sz=42&hl=en&start=12&um=1&tbnid=AA3fQJxNs7_xvM:&tbnh=83&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbig%2Bbang%2Btest%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN


LMAO! This is Great! (Originally posted December 31st, 2008)

Sunday, November 7th, 2010 by Greg

LMAO! I feel bad for older people not “tech” savvy!

Gotta Love Classic Garfield! (Originally posted September 22nd, 2009)

Sunday, November 7th, 2010 by Greg

Celebrities Are So Smart! *rolls eyes!* (Originally posted September 22nd, 2008)

Sunday, November 7th, 2010 by Greg

60 Dumb Celebrity Quotes

«Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.»
-Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign-
«If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.»
-Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President-
«So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?»
-Christian Aguilera-
«Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.»
-Ivana Trump, ..ing her first novel-
«I’m convinced the Beatles are partly responsible for the fall of Communism.»
-Milos Foreman, Film director-
«When I’m a blonde, I can say the world is purple, and they’ll believe me because they weren’t listening to me.»
-Kylie Bax, Model/Actress, in Stuff magazine.-
«The internet is a great way to get on the net.»
-Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate-
«You guys, line up alphabetically by height.»
-Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach-
«I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.»
-Britney Spears, on Blender Magazine (April 2004)-
«I think war is a dangerous place.»
-George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. (May 7, 2003)-
«I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.»
-Greg Norman, Golfer-
«It’s nice, it gives you a feeling of security so that if something breaks we know we can always call a guy over and he’ll bring a drill or something.»
-Brooke Shields, Actress, on why it was is good to live in a co-ed dormitory when she was in college-
«Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.»
-Gyrator, Chicago Rotary Club journal-
«These people haven’t seen the last of my face. If I go down, I’m going down standing up.»
-Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player-
«I’m so smart now. Everyone’s always like ‘take your top off’. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not stupid.»
-Paris Hilton (December 2003)-
«I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman»
-Arnold Schwarzenegger-
«Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.»
-Mariah Carey, pop singer-
«Predictions are difficult. Especially about the future.»
-Yogi Berra, Baseball player-
«My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.»
-Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.-
«The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.»
-Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President-
«And now the sequence of events in no particular order.»
-Dan Rather, television news anchor-
«Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.»
-George W Bush, Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000-
«The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.»
-Dizzy Dean, explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.-
«I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost.»
-Frank Bruno, Boxer-
«I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.»
-George Bush-
«I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.»
-George Rogers, NFL New Orleans Saint RB, when asked about the upcoming season-
«I do not like this word “bomb.” It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.»
-Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons-
«The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.»
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst-
«Half this game is ninety percent mental.»
-Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager-
«Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it.»
-Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant.-
«If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn’t own anything. My wife’s a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven’t sold them.»
-Ted Turner, media mogul, on selling off his money losing properties-
They misunderestimated me.»
-George W Bush, Bentonville, Ark., (Nov. 6, 2000)-
«I don’t diet. I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to.»
-Linda Evangelista, Supermodel-
«Facts are stupid things.»
-Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President-
«What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.»
-Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President-
«That’s just the tip of the ice cube.»
-Neil Hamilton, BBC2-
«A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.»
-Samuel Goldwyn-
«I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.»
-Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer-
«It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.»
-Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President-
«I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.»
-Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.-
«The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.»
-Sylvestor Stallone, Actor-
«Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.»
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC-
«We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.»
-Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President-
«Will the highways on the internet become more few?»
-George W Bush, Concord, New Hampshire, (29th January 2000)-
«Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.»
-Keppel Enderbery, Former Australian cabinet minister-
«There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964.»
-Roger Daltrey, Singer/Actor-
«We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.»
-Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks-
«I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.»
-Britney Spears-
«Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding
-Mickey Rivers, baseball player-
«I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix
-Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President-
«Put the ‘off’ button on.»
-George W. Bush, Associated Press, 14th February 2000-
«So Carol, you’re a housewife and mother. And have you got any children
-Michael Barrymore-
«Food is an important part of a balanced diet
-Fran Lebowitz, US writer-
«We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need
-Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation-
«For NASA, space is still a high priority
-Dan Quayle-
«He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.»
-Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer-
«If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight
-George Gobel-
«If only faces could talk…»
-Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl-
«Every minute was more exciting than the next
-Linda Evans, actress-
«I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me
-Jessica Simpson-

Stupid Laws in Ohio! (Originally posted June 2, 2007)

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 by Greg

-In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker’s stand, you can be fined $25.
-Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
-It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
-It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
-The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
-Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
-Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
-It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
-It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance

My Favorite from KY, it is illegal to fish in the Ohio river ther with out an Indian Fishing Liscence…

Read more: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.viewcustom&friendId=55485155&blogId=271548469&swapped=true#ixzz0tj0L2usT

LMAO This is a Riot! (seriously check it out!) (originally posted 3-10-2007)

Saturday, April 17th, 2010 by Greg

LMAO This is Great! (Originally posted 3-3-2007)

Sunday, April 11th, 2010 by Greg

<

56 Things You May Have Never Known About Me (Originally posted 2-8-2007)

Sunday, April 11th, 2010 by Greg

1. What are your initials? GWL

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: singer Billy Joel, actress Candace Burgen (from Murphy Brown), and the actress who played the mother in the Wonder Years, I forget her name?

3. Where was your first kiss? Never had one on the lips, only cheeks

4. For or against same sex marriage? Against

5. Are you homophobic? No

6. Are you bisexual? lol No!

7. Do you believe in God? Yes! Is that a surprise? lol Come on! Everyone knows that about me! I even know God!

8. How many U.S states have you been to? Arkansas, Arizona, California, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Missouri, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma (the worse state of them ll! lol) Pennsylvania, Tennessee, and Texas

9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in? 2, Arid-zone-ah! and OH-HI-OH! lol

10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S? No

11. Name something you like physically about yourself: My muscles, nice 6-pack and biceps and chest now lol

12. Something non-physical you like about yourself? My heart and love for God which makes my heart and love for people, you get the other one with the first one if it is truthful!

13. Whats your mom’s first name? Julie

14. What is your dream car? I drive it believe it or not!: blue Chevy Silverado HD pickup truck! I don’t want a sports car for fear of being stolen always though I might test drive one at a car lot acting like I’m buying it or I might rent one, like a lamborguini or ferrari that would rock!

15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? Australia and Israel are tied for number one choice, also New Zealand and Italy are way up there! Even England or France or Germany or anywhere in Europe or anywhere in the Caribbean would be nice!

16. Have you ever had someone of the opposite sex sleep over? Yeah in another room!

17. Do you download music? Sometimes but rarely I save my own bought CDs on my Harddrive

18. How many illegal things have you done? Jaywalking and Loitering and Littering is about it! Man I’m a hardened criminal! lol

19. Where would you want to go on a first date? Out to dinner at a nice restaurant and maybe miniature golf, bowling or a movie afterwards!

20. Would you date the person who posted this before you? lol No, it was a dude!

21. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? No

22. Ever been kissed under fireworks? No, sounds nice, though!

23. Do you like president Bush? Yes and No, he is protecting our country and the world and doing a lot more good then people give him credit for! You be in his shoes president of the USA and have all of the world’s problems with terrorism, Muslim countries, etc today! See how easy it is! But, I also believe as far as personality and intellect he is not even close to being a good president! And he has made plenty of bad decisions especially with Israel!

24. Have you ever bungee jumped? No, the Purple People Bridge above the Ohio River is where I might try it, if I got enough nerve!

25.Have you ever white water rafted? No, I always wanted to in the Colorado River of the Grand Canyon in my home state of Arid-Zone-ah!

26. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? lol Yes! A lot of older women love me! But, 10 years older is too much! For some reason I either have much older women liking me or teenage girls liking me and I can’t do either for taste or legalities! lol

27. Have you met a real redneck? lol I live really close to Kentucky! lol j/k!

28. Are you racist? No, to me racism is hating another race, which I do not, I love all people and would consider dating or marrying any race, female that is though! lol Any race, not any sex! I do notice differences in personalities and the way people talk and such in the different races!

29. What song are you listening to right now? None

30. What is your current favorite song? Your Love Is Better Than Life by the Newsboys it has a nice hip tune to it and good lyrics!

31. What was the last movie you watched?
I watched Superman, Mission Impossible 3 and The Poseidon Adventure all in the same weekend! Which one was last? I think Poseidon!

32. Where was the last place you went besides your house? Work!

33. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone elses property? lol No!

34. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? No

35. What really turns you on? lol *blushes* Personality: Makes me laugh, a love and heart for God and people, Body: I don’t want to sound like a pervert, but women and men both notice, if they don’t they’re lying. I’m not talking about lusting either! Slightly chubby, big breasts but not too big! Okay, I’m being really honest! *blushes*

39. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Honestly (and you know it is now! lol) Personality!

36. What do you usually order from Starbucks? Pop, I hate coffee it’s nasty!

37. Say something totally random about yourself: lol Smart

38. Do you have an ipod? Darn right! 60 GB black video Ipod! It rocks the llama!

39. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Yes I get Leonardo di Caprio the most, followed by Matt Damon the second most!

40. Do you have braces? No and never did

41. Are you comfortable with your height? Yeah! Women love tall guys and I stand at 6′3″ it’s not really tall, but it is tall!

42. do you speak any other language other than English? I speak quite a bit almost fluent Spanish, but reading and writing it is a different story! I speak fluent American Sign Language! Beautiful language! I am learning Italian now! And have been learning Biblical Hebrew for almost a year now!

43. Have you ever ridden in a limo? You bet! It’s awesome! Only twice though!

44. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Yes, my great-grandmother was the hardest it was when I was a kid! Still one of my favorite photos was when I was a kid with her! Most of my family is in the occult or just religious and wants nothing to do with me for my faith, but God told me recently she was a believer and prayed for me! I knew even when I was a kid there was something different about her! And I teared up when I heard that from God!

45. Do you watch MTV? lol No, because I’m not dumb! lol Sorry but most shows on there are dumb!

46. What’s something that really annoys you? People that betray you and backstab you and gossip about you and bare false witness about you, or steal from you, when they have no right and you never did anything to them to begin with!

47. What are some things you really like? Jesus, girls, Christian music, art, guitar, piano, Myspace, the Bible, trucks, Italian and Mexican food, Chinese food, Southern cooking, junk food, food, oh and did I say food! lol, the languages of French, Italian and Greek! Pretty! Australian accents, New Zealand accents, friends, people as long as they’re real, good “meat” preaching sermons! Traveling! Pool/Billiards, Swimming, Bowling, Drawing, Painting, Cooking, Writing! Juggling, Unicycling and Yo-Yos

48. Do you like Michael Jackson? lol I loved his music when I was a kid (in the 80s when he was popular) I still think he has talent, but wow! I pray for him! But, too much cosmetic surgery, even if he isn’t “sleeping” with kids, he needs to stop sleeping in the same beds with kids (which he admits to) who are not his own! And he is just TOO weird!

49. Can u dance? Some kinds yes!

50. Have you ever surfed? No, but it sounds like fun!

51. Do you know how to pump gas? lol Yes! I better! I don’t always have someone with me in my truck!

52. What’s the latest you have ever stayed out? All night!

53. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? Yes like 3 times!

54. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes, twice

55. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn’t want to? Yes and I never did it! Dare means nothing to me! lol

56. Where do you want to live? Same state Ohio, same area near Cincinnati or possibly near Dayton or Columbus, but in a nice big house with a nice big yard in front, the house has to be somewhat outside the city in the country but not too far, with my future wife and kids!